Single parenting is different. You do with two hands what most families do with four.
Nia Lawrence and Single Parents Everywhere
Even so, I love being a single mom. Cameron and I have lived together as a duo since day one and I became a solo parent when she was 8 months old. My daughter and I have a special bond. We protect each other and have so much fun navigating life in New York City. I think we’re especially close because most of our family and close friends live in Chicago, my hometown. We’re growing our NYC family every day together and exploring the city every second we can.
I wish I could give her more. More energy. More activities. More love. But in the end we simply need the confidence to know that our love and our families, though they may look different than others, are more than enough. And while I champion single parents, and I see how hard you work and sacrifice. I’m sharing a few of the biggest struggles I’ve dealt with as a solo parent.
And finally, in response to that question I get all the time: How do you do it all?
Generally the same way YOU do it, friends. With lots of patience, lots of laughter, unconditional love, coffee, prayer and Merlot 🙂
Things I Could Do Without 🙂
1. The Judgements
The thing that bothers me the most are the judgements and negative stereotypes linked with kids raised in single parent homes. Research shows that all your kid needs is a Happy home. Whether that home is comprised of one mom or two, mom and dad, mom and stepdad, two dads, or grandma and grandpa. In the end, all that matters is that the kids are loved and well cared for 🙂
2. The Guilt
I don’t have the energy of two people. I’m freaking tired. I can only dream about what it would be like to take my daughter out on one of our epic NYC exploration days, only to hand her over to my loving husband to take on the rest of the day! Instead, I’m often left extra tired. We often spend Saturday’s at Brooklyn Bridge Park on the Dumbo waterfront. We have a 45 minute walk there, 3-4 hours of walking, playing, playground, lunch, all day activities, 45 minutes back to the house…….Now what? Now, you muster up energy you didn’t know you had to entertain your kids for the rest of the day…single handedly….charging through dinner, story time and the night time routine.
3. That Single Mom Tax
This one is the most annoying because it’s the most limiting. Living on one income when everyone around us works with two. Responsibility for the rent on our 2 bedroom apartment, meals for this growing girl and cash for every single field trip……while I have no major complaints about our life, I can’t help but to wonder how far we’d be if there were someone around to share equally. It breaks my heart that I can’t provide the extra things I want to give her in life sometimes. I regret that our travel is limited. I love our mommy/daughter trips, but I often feel limited…and so jealous of your Hotels, flights, meals, etc on vacation add up and we don’t get out of NYC nearly as much as I’d like. Nevertheless, we make it work! Budgeting and living simply has gotten us this far and has made me incredibly ambitious and resourceful!
4. Family Court
And that’s it! Again, I wouldn’t change a thing about our family. But I did want to honestly address some of the challenges that I’m working through in life and motherhood and what I’m doing to stay positive, balanced and happy
On Mocha Mommy:
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Dress: Cat & Jack for Target
Bookbag: Cat & Jack for Target